progress--slow but sure

I have been reading all of your midterms, and I do mean all! I have been fascinated to watch your process as you analyze assignments and essays, and then put together a plan, and reflect on the plan...then report on the tutorial itself and reflect on that... You all worked hard on completing all the parts of that assignment, and I think your work has paid off in a deeper understanding of the many aspects of being a writing consultant. And yet--I am nto quite done grading. I don't have all of the writing center reports yet, but Dr. Essid has promised to get those for me asap. It seems reasonable to believe it will all be done by Wednesday, and then I look forward to the discussions I hope will follow. I feel like I have gotten to know you all better as I have read through your work. I have seen some specifics that we can work on and nail down before the last days of the semester. It would be quicker if this were simpler, more direct, but good quality is always individualized, complex, and time-consuming.

I was reminded of that in my own experience as a writing consultant this week. I have been working with a friend periodically for several months. I was beginning to feel like I had failed, and I wasn't seeing any progress. So we finally met for dinner and and a heart to heart conversation in which we backed up to basic questions. I asked her what her goals were for her writing, what her assumptions were about the nature of this particular kind of writing. When I finally stopped trying to tell her things, and instead started to listen, I was amazed. She was able to articulate very clearly goals and requirements for the piece. Our conversation opened up new areas for us, and we enjoyed talking about our different view points. And then I heard her newest work today, and I was AMAZED. She had really broken through to a new level. I saw clearly how it had grown directly out of her talking and me listening. I can't believe that it was so simple. I had forgotten what I knew all along about consulting--that it really works best when I listen more, and ask more questions, rather than commanding and directing.

I wonder why that is so hard for us to do?